I am beginning to wonder if this thing called life is a test. Between you and me, I don't believe that it is, but when I get really vulnerable (hungry, angry, lonely, tired or sad), my monkey mind takes over.
Last week-end, two of my friends died. One in the city I used to live in, which is hundreds of miles away, and the other right here in the city where I now live.
Jules died after a battle with lung cancer. Jeremy died in a freak accident while "hiking" near Albany, N. Y., when he lost his footing and fell 60 feet to his death over Kaaterskill Falls. They both died on Saturday, June 13.
It's not about me.
Most people do a bit of navel-gazing when close friends and family members die. We think about our own mortality, and wonder about abstract things like what people will discover when they go through our "stuff." We mourn, and cry, and return to our navels, and venture back out, and then realize how much we love people.
I want to be a better friend, wife, daughter, sister, and citizen. I want to listen better, and help more, and care about myself less. That's why most of us go into the social work field; we want to help. People, systems, environments, legislation...
Instead of focusing on the losses I have experienced in my life, and especially this past weekend, today I want to fuel my goals and dreams with the love I feel for Jules and Jeremy. And hopefully, they'll be watching from places that we will frequent together when we meet again.
--Ms. T. J.
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The New Social Worker is the quarterly magazine for social work students and recent graduates, focusing on social work careers for those new to the profession. This blog is a companion to the free online magazine at http://www.socialworker.com.
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