See You in San Antonio?

THIS WILL BE A SHORT WEEK in terms of school and my internship. Since the entire faculty is attending the CSWE conference, in San Antonio, TX, they called off classes for the week. And, since I am also attending, I will be missing a day of my field practicum.

I am looking forward to traveling to another state, The Lone Star State, meeting new friends, and seeing at least one old classmate, who is now a Texan.

The New Social Worker magazine will have a booth at the conference, and editor Linda Grobman will be there each day. On Saturday, Karen Zgoda will be at the booth at 9:15 a.m. and I'll be there at 1 p.m. Please stop by Booth 215 and say "hello." We would love to meet you and hear your stories.

~Ms. T. J.

See You in San Antonio?

"Precious"

THE HYPE ABOUT THE FILM "PRECIOUS" is really getting me stoked. We have an annual film festival sponsored by one of the colleges in the city that I live in, and there will be a viewing this week. One of our professors told us in class on Saturday that the department of social work on campus is trying to arrange for a special screening for the students. That would be so exciting! I have posted a link to a trailer for the film on YouTube. If you'd like to check it out, click here.

A segment on today's "Sunday Morning" featured an interview with the character who plays "Precious." Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe said that while she is not her character, she knows "Precious." Sidibe also said she never dreamed she would be in films, mostly because "it doesn't happen to girls who look like me."

What was so remarkable about the "almost famous" actor is that she has incredible self-esteem. She said people have often disrespected her because of her obesity and she yet has been able to find a way to believe in herself, her talents and beauty because she gets that she is the only person who can do that. She said that no one can make her diminish herself. I was impressed by her strength and self-awareness.

This movie is based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire and also stars Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, Mo Nique, and Paula Patton, to name a few. Oprah Winfrey and Taylor Perry have signed on as executive producers which will likely push the film into commercial success. And that's a good thing because it is a wonderful representation of our world. Beyond that, though, it just looks like it will be a great film.

~Ms. T. J.

"Precious"

Help for Academic Fatigue

I FOUND A GREAT SITE while searching for remedies for grad school fatigue. Actually, if you type the words "grad school stress" in your search engine (Google, Bing, etc.), you'll find an array of articles. One I found to be particularly useful was written by Nick Repak, a director of Grad Resources in Plano, TX, titled, "Emotional Fatigue: Coping with Academic Pressure."

The author discussed the problem of emotional fatigue (EF), the environment of grad students and the contributing factors to EF, the traits that set up an emotional cycle of perfectionism, signs and symptoms of EF, the effects of EF, and finally the solutions.

I was relieved to see that I've already begun the process of dealing with my emotional fatigue by journaling (blogging), cultivating relationships (I spent the afternoon with a new, and dear, friend who is in the same social work program), seeking outside help, and exercising.

This article helped me to normalize my experiences which made me feel better almost instantly. If you'd like to check it out, click here.

~Ms. T. J.

Help for Academic Fatigue

Ever feel like giving up?

DID YOU EVER just want to quit? Today I felt defeated. Nothing horrible happened. In fact, I think I aced an exam this morning, and I am on target with all of my assignments.

I am so close to graduation. This has to be normal. Tell me it's happened to you, too. Please. Will I miss this? The papers, the internship, the assignments, my classmates, my profs?

I remember when I was an undergrad (a million years ago) and people would say, "These are the best years of your life. Enjoy them." Did you ever notice that people don't really say that about graduate school? When I mention I am getting my Master's degree, they usually say things like, "Wow, that's great. I could never do that." One woman told me she would not have made it through her residency without lots of bags of Cheetos. My classmates say things like, "We just gotta get through it."

Nobody said it would be easy.

I feel confidant that this too shall pass. In the meantime, I'd love to hear about your struggles ... and your triumphs over difficulties while in school.

~Ms. T. J.

Ever feel like giving up?

What He Said

A CLASSMATE OF MINE told me today that he feels like he will be pretty much finished with his degree after he completes a particular class this semester. I find it fascinating, partly because I understand where he is coming from, and partly because I don't!

I mean, dude, we have another semester after this one and then we will be finished. Yet, he makes a great point because the class he is referring to requires quite a bit of work and a final presentation that is the culmination of 15 weeks of research and working with a client. When it's all said and done, we will have written a paper, compiled data, created a poster, and made a presentation.

Which brings me to my next thought: We all get through it in our own way. Graduate school is not for the faint-hearted or the slacker. There is work to be done and internships to be completed. And just when you think you have jumped over the last hurdle, another one comes into view.

For my friend, getting finished with this particular class will bring him some relief. As for me, I get my relief in fits and starts. It's all good. I can do it. I've done it so far and I have to believe I can make it to the end.

And the end will be the beginning....

Ms. T. J.

What He Said

On growing up

PEMA CHODRON IS MY LATEST HERO. My husband swears I am the last book I read, and I am a sponge, I'll admit. Sometimes, though, a writer will really get me where I live. I picked up Chodron's "Comfortable With Uncertainty" about a year and a half ago, because, well, I wasn't, and frankly, I'm still a bit UNcomfortable with things that are uncertain.

This gem of a meditation book is teaching me (again) that everything is uncertain. You know the saying: We plan, God laughs? Chodron expands upon that and many other ideas, thoughts, and teachings in her slender paperback.

This morning I read the chapter titled "Growing Up." This part jumped out at me:
"But when we apply the instruction to be soft and nonjudgmental to whatever we see at this very moment, the embarrassing reflection in the mirror becomes our friend. We soften further and lighten up more, because we know it's the only way we can continue to work with others and be of any benefit in the world. This is the beginning of growing up."

Sometimes I beat myself up for being sensitive, and sometimes people point out my kindness ("You're too nice") as if it is a character defect. It is uncomfortable at times, and it hurts, too, but more often I can see it as the gift it mostly is. My hope is that it will continue to help me to work with others in a nonjudgmental and loving way.

~Ms. T. J.

On growing up

Baby on the beach

MY HUSBAND AND I drove to the beach this afternoon. It was a beautiful day with blue sky and big, fluffy clouds that were being blown around by a gentle wind. We parked the car and walked on the pier.

I paused to people-watch, and I spotted a woman first power-walking on the sand, then quickly veering to the right, with a look of concern on her face. I quickly saw what she was seeing: a tiny little girl, approximately 2 years old, in a wet suit was crying, whimpering the words, "Daddy ... daddy."

The women and I --she on the beach and I on the pier above -- caught one another's eye, and we instantly became the "village" that would, if necessary, bolt into action to rescue this lost child who was dangerously close to the waves of the Atlantic Ocean.

In a few seconds, the child turned toward a familiar sound, her father's voice, and I bolted to the other side of the pier to witness her reuniting with her father. As he hugged her and walked her back to the spot where he and a woman were seated, I thought to myself that they had let the little girl stray too far from "camp," in my opinion.

A year ago, I would have been hyper-critical of these guardians. I would have thought they were not taking "good enough" care of their child.

After a mere two months at the family and children's services agency where I am in field practicum, I am rethinking my stance. Yes, I believe they were being careless with the child who was in their charge. But, I guess I have seen too much already. So much abuse and neglect and domestic violence. The behavior of this family at the beach seems almost negligible in the face of what I now know goes on in the world.

Is this growth? Is this too much tolerance?

Yes, and yes. And, it is what it is.

In the words of Pema Chodron: "There's a discrepancy between our inspiration and the situation as it presents itself. It's the rub between those two things --the squeeze between reality and vision-- that causes us to grow up, to wake up to be 100 percent decent, alive and compassionate."

~Ms. T. J.

Baby on the beach