I Don't "Wanna"

OKAY, I'LL ADMIT IT: I am whining.

I've hit some weird wall. I'm sure it will pass. I just don't "wanna" (imagine the whine, here) study and write papers and read and research. I don't "wanna" get up and go to my internship.

This is new. And it's my last semester!

I talked with a friend of mine who has her doctorate about this recent phenomenon at the outset of my final semester and she shared an amazing story with me. She said that when she was in her final class, she sat down to take the mid-term exam. She got up in the middle of the test and walked out.

She said she called her professor who immediately said, "I am sure you did fine on your exam."

She replied, "No, I didn't. I walked out without completing it."

He said, "That's okay; we can set up another time."

She declared, "No we can't."

She dropped the class and took the rest of the semester off. It was her very last class! She pointed to her head with an imaginary pointer-finger-and-thumb pistol and said that she was in an emotional place where she just couldn't move forward.

Clearly it was the right thing for her to do. She went back the next semester and finished her doctoral degree. She is a well-respected, sought-after psychologist in the city where I live. I count her among the sanest people I know, and I know quite a few.

That conversation really put things in perspective for me. I am not suicidal. In the scheme of life, I am not even very overwhelmed. I just don't "wanna" (imagine the whine, again).

~Ms. T. J.