Job Interview No. 1

I BELIEVE THE INTERVIEW WENT VERY WELL. And while it was no walk in the park, I think I have a good chance at getting the job. There were three components: the interview; a short written exercise; and a typing exam (more for form and accuracy than speed). I was impressed with the caliber of the interview team, as well as the fact that the government social service agency takes the business of child welfare so seriously.

The HR team's interview process was streamlined, and I was the last interview of the day. This made my day a bit maddening; I would much rather have gotten it over with in the morning when I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

When they asked me where I wanted to work, I told them that I was more interested in the ongoing units, and that I think Foster Care might be a good place for me to start. I have only worked on the placement unit for one day! I am basing this on what I have heard and witnessed--not on what I have done. My entire internship has been on the CPS side of the agency. It would actually be easier for me to work on that side because I have the most experience there. But I am drawn to Foster Care.

I am going to turn this over to my Higher Power because at this moment in time, if I get a job offer, I don't really know where my best fit may be. And there may be more than one "great fit." What I know is that I have officially left my comfort zone. It is a thing of the past!

My hopes and prayers are that I will continue to be teachable, that I will continue to be divinely led, that I will continue to be willing to step out--to leap in faith, and to trust that all is well.

~Ms. T. J.

The other side of the house--and a job interview

TOMORROW I MOVE INTO PLACEMENT at my field practicum. I have been on the CPS side of the child welfare agency ever since I started my internship back in Fall 2009.

I have always been drawn to Foster Care. Now is my opportunity to find out if it's a good fit for me. With just a few short weeks left in field placement, I want to experience as much as I can before I consider a position.

Oh, did I mention I have my first interview on Wednesday?

I was really excited when I got the call last week. I'll "go upstairs" at 4:30 p.m. Wednesday. Please send lots of light!

~Ms. T. J.

Layers of the onion

SOMETIMES IT'S ALL TOO MUCH. Really. You go on a home visit. The house is filthy--and when you sit down on the couch you feel your feet sticking to places on the carpet. Boxes of perishable food are stacked on the floor in in the middle of the living room, and once-cold packages of apple sauce and other foods are sweating as they adjust to the room's temperature.

A dryer is set up in the dining room, and there are no table or chairs--no sign of habitation, really, throughout the rooms nor on the walls of this place. As you head into the kitchen you notice a virtual colony of insects congregating on the linoleum. Roaches--the German kind--are flitting across the floor in broad daylight, followed by other creepy-crawly things, and flies. When Mom opens the refrigerator door, the stench from inside almost knocks you over, and you steel yourself so as not to appear unkind.

Glancing at the carpet, you see coins and staples, bits and pieces of paper, and other indistinguishable things scattered about. "Is your child crawling yet?" you ask, as he is not at home for you to observe.

"Oh, yes, he's crawling and getting into everything!" Mom replies, proudly beaming from ear to ear.

Picking up a coin, a staple, and some scraps of paper you explain how dangerous these could be for a young child, were he to put them in his mouth, which he is normally apt to do. You talk about the importance of cleaning the floors in general, inquire about the bug issues, and discuss solutions.

You peek into the bedrooms, and it is impossible to see the child's bed, and most of the mother's bed, as clothing is heaped high upon each of them. You ask where the child sleeps and Mom has to take you into the small room and point directly at the area. You see a little bit of a headboard poking out of the laundry piles. Mom explains that she is cleaning out her closet, but it's evident that the room has been like this for sometime.

When the representative from the lab comes to get a urine sample for analysis, he spends a long time searching the bathroom and having Mom remove various bottles of shampoos, soaps, etc. After he finishes, he stands outside the door waiting and listening. Mom reports that she is unable to void. He leaves with an empty cup.

After an in-depth interview, you leave the home, taking with you the smell of stale cigarette smoke and feeling like you need a long scrub in a hot shower.

Where to begin? There are so many places to start. How about right where she is?

~Ms. T. J.

Learning to be flexible

FIVE. That's the number of work spaces I've inhabited since I began my internship back in the Fall of 2009. On the bright side, I've gotten the lay of the land in my agency like nobody's business!

I am happy to report this move was an upgrade. Once again I am in an office rather than a cubicle. I started in a cubicle, moved into an office, then into another office, back into a cubicle, and now I am in an office. These are all different offices and cubicles, mind you. I say this not to complain but rather to let you know that the only thing certain about an internship is the uncertainty!

I have learned many things while at this agency, and I believe one of my biggest lessons has been the one I've learned about attachment--or more specifically, detachment. In some 12-step programs detachment is defined as "letting go with love." I can't say that applies exactly, but my attachment to attachment has been a fickle source of comfort for me over the years.

Change is imminent, and while I like to try new things, travel to new places, and meet new people, I have also found it comforting to be in positions which offered a sense of security and routine.

This internship is not like that.

Every day that I walk in, I never really know what's in store for me, or if I'll be in the same space. And, as surprising as it is to me, I like it. The lack of structure is liberating in a way that is hard to describe. I like the not knowing! I like not being in charge of my day, to some extent. And, I enjoy the challenge of it all.

Today I worked until 7 p.m. and it felt like I was only there for a few hours. I know this isn't something I can keep doing as an intern, and yet today it felt really great to be working on a project, and seeing it through to the end.

As crazy as this sounds--even to me--I can't wait to go back tomorrow!

~Ms. T. J.

Healthcare Bill Divides Friends?

I WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT IF IT HADN'T HAPPENED TO ME. Today I was snubbed by a "friend" who isn't in favor of the health care bill! I guess he doesn't like my politics--and you know--I don't like his either, but I treated him as I always do, with a hug and a smile. But I could tell he was holding my viewpoint against me.

Gone are the days when I hold in my thoughts, beliefs, values, ideas to make someone like me. Getting this Master's degree has changed me. Hallelujah!

~Ms. T. J.

Three Days Left

WHERE DID YOU GO THIS SPRING BREAK? The beach? The mountains? Home to see your family? Did you stay at school and catch up with your work? Whatever you did and wherever you went, I hope you had a great time.

Me? Oh, I've been in bed. Alone. With the flu. Yep. My husband had it, too. We decided we'd rest better apart. That coughing can really cut into hard-won slumber.

Homework? Nope. Didn't have any focusing abilities. I tried. I even started a power point presentation I need to give in a couple weeks. I think I set up three slides.

Reading? Here and there--in between feverish, sleepless hours tangled up in the sheets.

Did I bathe? Now you are getting personal! Well, um, perhaps I splashed some water on my face and brushed my teeth.

Drink a lot of fluids? Yup.

Eat? Not very much. Funny how the appetite can vanish when a bit of nourishment would do a world of good.

See the light of day? Nope. Fortunately it was dreary and chilly most of the time--okay so maybe the sun came out, but hey, if a tree drops in the forest...you know the story--I wasn't there to see it, so hey, did it shine?

Talk to anybody? Lucky for me, I have persistent, loving friends. So I didn't isolate as badly as I could have, given the hibernation-type behavior I have been exhibiting. One dear friend even drove me to my massage therapist's home so I could get some reflexology. I believe it made a difference. The massage, and the company of my friend.

Feeling better? Yep. Drove my car today. Went to the store to get some more orange juice. Took the dog around the block. The sun was shining and the temp was in the high 60s!

Three days of break left? Hurray!

I am grateful for my usual state of good health. I shall not take it for granted for a long time!

~Ms. T. J.

The Final Spring Break

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT: I am sick during spring break! My husband was really sick last week and despite all my preventive efforts, I am now down with a cold, too.

Is the universe trying to slow me down? Is it, like Carolyn says, normal for the body to hang on when you need it to, and let go when you don't? I am definitely paraphrasing and hopefully I got it right.

I have been doing a lot of sleeping, something I am certain I need. The house is so quiet and peaceful. I believe I need that, too. My energy level is so low, I can't muster up enough of it to do much of anything except, now and then, get on the computer, and lay in bed reading short stories by Dorothy Parker.

As I begin to feel better, I plan to finish my child welfare training, get a massage, have lunch with friends, and maybe take a short trip to a nearby island. Until then, I'll be laying low, drinking lots of fluids, and getting through it.

~Ms. T. J.