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Omro, Wisconsin: October 9, 2009

FALL BREAK ENDS IN THE MORNING FOR ME. I guess writing this post is my admission that it's time to get back on schedule. Field practice resumes in the a.m. and I have a lit review due on Saturday. As always, there are chapters to read and projects to work on. Ugh!

As my husband often says: "It's time to get on the gratitude train." So, for your entertainment only, I will list my Top 10 for today:

10. I am grateful that my reclusive neighbor felt safe enough to come over this morning when her cat died so I could console her with a hug.
9. I am grateful for safe flights to and from Wisconsin.
8. I am grateful that I got to see the leaves change colors while I was there.
7. I am grateful that my husband is cooking tonight.
6. I am grateful that my 77-year-old father, an amputee, is doing well on his own, with "a little help from his friends" and family.
5. I am grateful for our southern climate after being in a "freezing-cold" one.
4. I am thankful for my sister, who was so hospitable during my visit.
3. I am grateful that I have just one and a half semesters left before I graduate with my MSW.
2. I am thankful that I do not have to work in addition to school and internship.
1. I am grateful to a caring and loving Higher Power for all of the above.

~Ms. T. J.

There's no place like home

ALTHOUGH I SWEAR I'LL NEVER MOVE BACK, my childhood in Wisconsin still holds so many wonderful memories for me. I long for it at times, and I know that one winter of ice and snow would likely send me right back to the ocean-side city where I live today. I am heading there for a couple of days this week and I can't tell you how difficult it is to pack!

My family members say, "Bring a jacket." I've been walking around outside in a tank top and cropped pants today. We have our air conditioning on right now. Still, I look forward to the chilly nights and the earthy smells of fall that only a northern climate can claim.

I am going to stay with my sister, to whom I've grown closer each passing year. I think the fact that we lost our baby sis and mother has caused us to develop a stronger bond.

I need to get on the stick and start packing. I won't be gone long; I don't need to take much. I like to travel light, and I hope to bring back a treasure or two, so I'll leave a little room in my bag -- just in case.

~Tammy Jo (my Wisconsin namesake)

"Home is where they love you." I'm doubly blessed, I feel, and I will look forward to my return home to my husband and dog while I am away.

Starting to unwind

AFTER TODAY'S PSYCHOTHERAPY AND REFLEXOLOGY, I am beginning to feel like myself again. I guess I'll get a week's reprieve (fall break) and then I will be at it, once again, in full swing. I will just try to stay right here, in the moment, for now.

So, in the moment: my dog is relaxing on the floor in front of me, my husband is cooking chicken breasts, Brussels sprouts (my choice), green beans and corn on the cob (his choice) and I am contemplating curling up in the chair with the "Collected Stories of Carson McCullers."

Sounds like a good plan, yes?

~Ms. T. J.

A funny thing happened at the nail salon

TO CELEBRATE MID-TERM SURVIVAL, I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure. As I sat in the "drying station," (the area where you place your feet and hands under heat lamps to set your polish and dry your nails), I started a conversation with a woman next to me.

Because it's a small world, and there are probably only six degrees of separation between all of us, it turned out I had worked with her when I was at the magazine. She is a designer in town and I had photographed some of her amazing creations at a fashion show a year or so ago.

She taught me a couple of things during our brief encounter. Our conversation had begun with a lesson on preparing lobster, a treat she gifts herself with on her birthday each year. In our east coast city, lobsters are abundant and fresh, and I learned how to prepare one for my foodie husband, thanks to her.

I also found out that she needs a seamstress, and I have a friend who sews quite well who is in need of a job. Networking, especially when it's serendipitous, is so cool.

The final life lesson came when I shared with her what I am mastering in graduate school and why I left the publishing business where I had worked for a decade. I told her I plan to become a licensed therapist. Her response was immediate and emphatic:

"I could never do that. I would just have to tell people to get on with it." She went on to explain that she is pretty much an "anti-social worker," a word I jokingly use with my husband. She believes that people need to get over it and on with it and when she hears the stories she pretty much says, "What!?"

My response? And I have to add that I had no hard feelings, nor did I feel any judgement toward her when I said: "Thank goodness there are people like me who feel differently."

~Ms. T. J.

Remembering Anne Marie

THIRTEEN YEARS AGO TODAY, my baby sister died.

She was 34 years old. Her life, for the most part, was a battle. She fought the ugly fight of addiction, and succumbed to it's bodily ravages way too early in life. When her alcoholism rendered her unable to care for her two-year-old daughter, that child was taken from her and placed with her ex-husband, who was also an addict but a "functioning" one.

Back then, I didn't know what I know now, and we didn't have the resources in place that we utilize today. She and I were just a year and a half apart in age, and though I was also struggling in my own ways to heal, I was taking an "over-achiever" route. I was desperately trying to carve out a life free from the bondage of addiction and dysfunction.

To this day I suffer from survivor's guilt. Although I have had enough grief and other therapy to understand that it wasn't my fault and that I could not have saved her, I still entertain a short list of "what ifs" every now and then. What if I had "forced" her into treatment (I tried that many times); what if I had fought for her child (back in the late 80s, early 90s, child welfare was a lot different than it is now); what if I hadn't needed to save my own life back then?

On this day, the anniversary of the day when I witnessed hundreds of Monarch butterflies migrating from Indiana to the south for the winter -- the day my sister died, I will find a way to celebrate her life. She was funny, athletic, loving, smart, extraordinarily pretty, and a good mommy when she was sober.

~Ms. T. J.

Fall break is almost here

AFTER SATURDAY'S CLASSES, we will be on fall break. OMG! I feel like a week will not be enough...

I am flying to my hometown to see my father and sister in Wisconsin. I am really looking forward to boarding a plane and leaving this city for a few days. It's a short, sweet trip, I know, yet it feels like a necessary voyage. Both to check on my Daddy, whose health is not the best, and to bond with my sister who I haven't seen since May. Perhaps more than anything, I need to leave the books behind and concentrate on something else for a little while.

A classmate and I were talking about how hard it's been lately. He said he feels bored and lonely. He said his life is consumed with school. Yes, yes, and yes! I have to admit I have been depressed. My husband doesn't understand, but I think it makes perfect sense.

Yes, I am doing well in my classes and my field instructor seems pleased with my progress. The caseworker I am most often working with gives me positive feedback. I am in the top 10 percent of all grad students at school. Yet, I am depressed. I can't really explain it. I think it's the old adage: All work and no play makes T. J. a dull girl. Dull may be another word for depressed.

I don't know if I will be playing while in Wisconsin. My sis says it's chilly there so I need to pack some warm clothes. I want to take long walks with her and her dog. I want to get my fill of fresh lake fish and see my two best girlfriends one evening. I want to catch up with my Pop and see that he has everything he needs (I know he's fine, and I need to see for myself).

While it's not amusement-park fun, or sailing-the-Pacific-type adventure, it's a get-away, and it's what I need!

~Ms. T. J.

Virtual Neighborhood Watch: How Social Media is Making Cities Safer

http://www.flickr.com/photos/moriza/ / CC BY 2.0

If it does indeed take a village to raise a child, according to African proverb, perhaps it also takes a village to keep us safe. There is an interesting article over at Mashable today titled Virtual Neighborhood Watch: How Social Media is Making Cities Safer. What is most notable about this particular article is the sheer volume of links rounded up that may (or may not!) help communities work together in the virtual world for increased feelings of safety in the physical world.

From the article:
Social media tools like Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and even email, instant messaging, and SMS have become the defacto way we communicate with each other. Because of the mainstream embrace of social media, we now live in a world where information is shared at lightning speeds and as a result, we’re actually finding ways to use that free flow of data and information to make the world a safer place to live.

From tracking trends in crime to finding the safest bike routes around a city, from getting emergency alerts during a disaster to understanding the spread of dangerous illnesses, social media is being used by both public officials and private citizens to make our cities safer. This post outlines just a few of the ways that social media tools are now being employed to keep the public safe and informed.

Have you used any of these tools? Have your clients? What do you think?