Online Friendships/Social Networking

I know, I know, I am totally out of the norm... not posting last Friday (I was spending the day with the incredible Susan Mankita, L.C.S.W.) and today isn't Friday, but I really had the urge to update now, so forgive my being 6 days late or 1 day early, depending how you look at it. I've just been so recently majorly impacted by social networking that I couldn't help but come to this networking site and write about it.

Saturday night, my dog had an emergency and it began a 3 day whirlwind of panic and fear for me as he spent the days in the ICU. Every bit of my energy and every bit of my strength was being telepathically sent to him. My days were filled with calls to the vet, visits to see him and to put my hand into his incubator cage and nights were filled with sheer terror at the very real possibility I'd lose him.

I can truly say that the only thing that held me together was the world through the internet. A breed specific website I'd joined when I rescued him gave me comments of hope and well wishes with folks from everywhere checking in for my updates. Emails came from those who had heard about the situation. Most of all, facebook allowed me to spend my hours typing with people who loved and supported me during a time when I was too afraid to speak the words but when I needed others more than I could articulate.

I got lucky, very very lucky. Nikko rallied and got to come home. But I was also incredibly lucky to have been held up by incredibly supportive people.

Please please keep in mind how helpful the internet can be in trying times. Although it's known for being full of porn and useless videos of kittens and celebrity gossip, it is also a place to reach out and a place to reach back. With the holidays here, please remember to ask for the emotional support you need and to give the extra you may have, it truly can change (or save) someone's life.

Social Work in Our Personal Lives

Does Social Work creep into your personal life? Isn't that a guarantee?!

As social workers, people with a skill-set for problem solving, for compromise, and for hearing what isn't being said, are we in a position to be better partners in romantic relationships? Are we better parents? Better friends to have?

Are we destined to always feel a tad frustrated that we're always the ones who remains calm in an argument with a loved one, the person who looks for the real reason behind the emotion, the person who hears the "I'm scared and trying to protect myself by pushing you away, please don't let me" in the awful words being said. I wonder if it's easier for social workers to date each other, if the communication is more open, if the partners are better at finding the truth behind the words.

Are we, by nature of the field we've chosen, more naturally introspective? Is that a requirement of being a truly great social worker? Are we more likely than non-social workers to journal, to see a therapist, or to find productive ways of dealing with our emotions?

Could being a social worker be detrimental to our personal lives? Could our skill-set cause us to spend too much time trying to improve on things that may not really need to be focused on? Can it lead us to becoming the martyrs or the doormats of the world? Can it cause us to be less able to walk away from a bad relationship because we see the potential in the abuser, the alcoholic, the unmotivated?

Where's the line between using one's clinical skills and self-preservation?



(Disclaimer: These are all questions I ponder and questions I can't wait to read comments on. But for those who know me, no worries, this isn't indicative of something going on in my own life) :)

Pallet on the floor

IT'S ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION. Ten years ago if I had heard of a child sleeping on the floor, without a mattress, I would have been concerned.

Backpedal to my job as a magazine editor. My charge? I had to find fabulous homes to feature in a city magazine. I found a super-fab place on the water and, as we all toured the place, I noticed something was missing.

There were no beds. Anywhere.

"Such wasted space, bedrooms," the homeowners explained. "But that isn't why we don't have beds. We both struggled with back pain. We had to sleep on the floor while our home was being built several years ago, and our backs felt miraculously better." They said they hadn't slept in a bed since.

Fast forward to today. I am tagging along with a caseworker who is investigating a not-so-fab home to make certain it is appropriate for a teenager who has been living there. There is no bed in the child's room. Sheets, a blanket and a pillow are neatly folded and stacked against one wall.

"A pallet?" the case manager asks.

"Yes, a pallet," the support person for the teen repeats.

Today I know that a bed will not make or break a person. In fact, A bed may hurt the back. What matters most is that the child has a roof over her head and people who care about her who are willing to open their home during a time when she needs a little help.

It's all about perceptions, and, I have to say, mine are changing as the days go by.

~Ms. T. J.