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The New Social Worker is the quarterly magazine for social work students and recent graduates, focusing on social work careers for those new to the profession. This blog is a companion to the free online magazine at http://www.socialworker.com.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I heard the news today, oh boy

Today I lost a friend.

He died at home, with his loving wife at his side. He had a fast-moving brain tumor that swept into his life and took him away from us way too soon.

I wrote this earlier:

"I wish I had one more moment with you. When I came to see you, you were heavily medicated. Your wife took me outside your room and we hugged and talked and exchanged words to fill the sad silence.

I went back in to look at you. I gently touched your bent knee. I pretended that you knew it was me and that you might remember I was there to see you. To tell you how sorry I was for all the pain you were enduring. To thank you for being a great guy and a wonderful husband to your wife.

I wanted to thank you for your stories. Did I thank you? I think I did. I hope I did. Thank you."

I am grieving tonight. I will let myself cry and feel the pain of this loss.

--Ms. T. J.


  1. TJ, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that your support was comforting to him and his wife.

  2. Hang in there TJ. There are no words that will work for either you or his wife at this time. But remember all the words you hear and repeat them to yourself as the days go by and you will find comfort in them. Give her a hug and give yourself a hug for being the warm, compassionate and caring friend that you are.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. The best thing you can do for your friend is to be there for his wife and family.

    I heard a quote recently, that made me feel better. To grieve is to know you were well loved.

  4. I sorry for your lost. Just remember the good times and do not ever feel you shouldn't grieve. Be there to listen, even if its the same stories.

  5. Sorry to hear that. Take care.

  6. Grieve...take the time you need. You've earned it.